Unexpected

Today I had my class listen to a song called "La Historia de Juan". It's about a little boy who lives on the streets and has given up on life. We listen to it every year to listen for the preterite tense, and to talk about the problem of street children in Latin America. Every year we have a good discussion, my students share their experiences, I share mine, we talk about how sad it is, what we can do to change it, the reasons behind little ones living on the street, etc. . .

But not this year.

I have spent a lot of my life in Latin America. Poverty doesn't surprise me. Homeless children and children living in extreme poverty do not surprise me. I have fed them, had them in my home, been in their homes, played with them, bought them shoes, taught them, been their "nurse", loved them.

But when the child is your own, everything is different.

My baby girl had all but given up on life. She didn't really have a bond with a specific caregiver. She refused to eat. She rarely smiled. She stayed propped in bed all the time because she didn't like to be on the floor. She was fearful and sad and sick. I was told by the staff that I was brave to be her mother.

So we listened to the song, but I couldn't have the discussion. They got a brief summary, but that's it. Because it doesn't matter how much time you've spent in a developing country working with orphans, and street kids, and other children living in extreme poverty, when it's YOUR baby, everything is just different. I didn't expect it to be so different.

I'm still processing my trip to Ethiopia. We have had a really smooth transition, but I have been in "get my baby well" mode since I got home, and haven't really processed much. Much of the trip was really easy for me-I thought the hotels were fine, the food was different, but good, I'm used to not flushing toilet paper, we had water the whole time, the electricity went out some, but less than I expected. And life goes on without electricity--it's when the water goes that makes it hard. Ethiopia is so very beautiful, and so very rich, in spite of the poverty. I'm so thankful I was able to go, and hope to bring Eden back someday.

And right now, my healthy, smiley, smart, baby girl, who didn't stop eating today until she went to bed, and who now gets into my cabinets, pulls everything out of my purse, and gets stuck crawling under her bed, is asleep next to my bed. And I better get to sleep so I can keep up with her tomorrow!